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Worst Album Covers (May 8)

This week’s theme is Portraits…
(For those that don't get the premise; these are albums released this week.)

first off:
Paula Abdul has spent the last 5 years telling young ‘talent’ how the industry works and what they should do to be successful and then she turns around and puts this on the shelves. This actually isn't that bad of an album cover, for a cassette tape! What is she wearing? And what is she looking at, circling vultures? (she's always so hammered she probably thinks they're magical little fairies) I'm glad she at least named it 'Straight Up' so we could all say it's 'straight up horrible'!

Next we got Streisand who is on the list b/c she’s Streisand, a walking nightmare. Great cover idea too; somewhere her publicist said "We need to find one of those big foam headed mics from the 60's so we can cover half her face!" (I think Babs sees the vultures too)

This one can also be blamed on Streisand; I’m sure the liner notes even give her a ‘shout out.’ I love that this is the ‘Deluxe Edition’ meaning that there’s a lesser version of this album on the market. The body language and album title, which I'll avoid discussing, are perfect! Bill Simmons would rank this really high on the ‘unintentional comedy’ meter. Furthermore, nobody ever wanted to see her in that dress... But Carole gains a little street cred for her audacity to smile at you and look you in the eye before slapping you w/ this hot loaf.

Here we have the unexplainable, oops, I mean the inexplicable, or, the inconceivable, the unbelievable, the… oh you get it. Its a monkey pope!? Is this connected w/ the airport Krishnas? And what does any of this have to do w/ a flow of grace.
Just to take inventory; we have a chanting harry Krishna monkey bishop oozing abundant grace. I'm completely lost; if this is some religious thing, someone tell me so I'm not completely offending the world.

The last three are artists that cranked out albums comprised entirely of other people’s music, yet they felt the need to plaster their mug on side A of the jewel case.

First is Lang Lang; poor guy, he can't be 30 and the vultures are already after him.

Lastly we have Richter, who decided the best way to sell cover albums is to slap a floor to ceiling shot of yourself looking worried on the front of each one. (which he did at least three times)

This week's throw back comes from over 15 years ago. I enjoy some songs from this album but no amount of 'riffing' can undo the lameness of this cover.

photos are from Amazon.com

1 comment:

Mat Brewster said...

Oooh, singing sweating Krisna monkey. I gotts to go buy me that!