Top 5's

I'm gonna start posting my top 5's in here. These aren't top 5 topics that I just pull out of thin air; these top 5 topics are from a group I'm in on Facebook. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm very obsessive about prefecting/editing myself. (which is why my blog posts are almost unreadable) Thus, these lists take me a long time to create, so I figured, if I'm gonna spend this much time writing it, why not also make it a Bates Dynasty post...

So this week's topic was Top 5 Albums (who could answer that!?)

Here's my post, feel free to comment on/ridicule my choices...


This is a top 5 right up my alley, other than the fact I can’t seem to ever decide what my favorite albums are. My friends will vouch that I’ve said ‘this would make my top 20 albums’ in reference to probably 50 albums. So this will be tough…

To me, this top 5 is a little too grandiose. It’s like saying ‘choose your top 5 days’! I’ve lived about 10,000 days and I’m sure I’ve LOVED over a thousand of them. So for me to narrow this down is just too much to ask. What I will do is write my top 5 ‘impact’ albums. If I ever hope to one day name my ‘top 5 albums of all time’, I’ll need to go through this process of sub-top fives. (not that anyone actually cares)

(Also, as much as it pains me, I’m only including one Pearl Jam album and I’m only using albums released in my lifetime.)

So here’s my top 5 albums…sorta...

5. Pinkerton – Weezer
The Blue album is Weezer’s ‘best’ album, who could deny that? It’s basically perfect in everyway. In fact it was so ‘technically’ perfect that when Pinkerton came along w/ it’s awkward stories and sloppy arrangements, people pulled a ‘pet-sounds’ on the thing and basically banished the band into obscurity. But Pinkerton is like a swinging gold watch, if you stop and really watch it for a second, you'll be hypnotized by it's charm! (or clucking like a chicken in front of your whole school)

Even if you never stop and enjoy it's stories of torture, that we all share, you’ll still fall in love w/ the music. It’s such a fun album! These days every album is so over processed and layered and polished, it’s enough to drive you insane. That’s exactly why this album is still refreshing every time I listen to it. It’s so raw and honest and messy and fun, it’s like a stray dog that wanders up one day and spends the next 10 years just trying to make you happy.

4. Siamese Dream – Smashing Pumpkins
I know, I know, it’s another sophomore album. (stay tuned, there’s two more coming) This album wasn’t drastically better than Gish but it perfected everything you love about Gish and then added a little extra on top. It’s also a portrait of the band before they started taking themselves too seriously. Songs like Disarm give you a hint of their next transition as a band but it’s subtle and interesting. (not that Melon Collie was bad, it was just a little too much diversity and self indulgence for my taste)
I’ve kinda grown out of this phase in my life now. When I look back at this album and The Bends, I realize that they’re a little too serious for everyday listening. In recent years, I’ve totally fallen in love w/ the lighter side of music, but that’s not to detract from the perfection of these albums. It’s just that if I’m going to be sitting in the dreary reality of a rush-hour subway car in a city of 20+ million, I’d rather be pumping a bouncy little number by the White Stripes or Black Keys. Kinda like the reality of sitting in crap isn’t as bad when you got nose plugs. But you can’t live your whole life in la-la land, and this album is an adequate dose of reality. (wrapped up in a fuzz-box distortion peddle w/ some really really crappy singing!)
I could bang on about all the reasons I think it’s great but I think I’ll just leave it be and say that it helped to turn me into the complete music weirdo that I am today!

3. The Bends – Radiohead
I can’t say that Pablo Honey was a good album, and not many would argue that point. And sophomore albums tend to be a let down, so after a mediocre debut, expectations weren’t very high for number two. But this album was such a departure from their first; it was interesting, rough around the edges, dreamy, noisy, and, basically, just well written. It was like they collectively had a musical epiphany. Tracks like Fake Plastic Trees and Street Spirit show the band’s ability to write spacey melancholy songs that can not only carry your attention for 5 minutes, but also take hold of your imagination. (Who hasn’t fully imagined the characters in Fake Plastic Trees?) The album also has the middle ground covered w/ mid tempo pop songs like ‘High and Dry’ and ‘Nice Dream’ but I have to say that the thing that first caught my attention was the feedback driven, volume on 11, all out swaggering wall of noise that you hear in songs like Iron Lung, Bones, Bends, and Just. Radiohead has made some astounding albums since this one, possibly even better albums, but this one definitely stands out to me, it just caught me at the right time.

2. Elephant – The White Stripes
Kiss (and Stryper) said “God gave rock ‘n roll to you” and I think God gave The White Stripes to rock ‘n roll! Seriously, not since Pearl Jam has a band come a long and hit me at the EXACTLY PERFECT moment! Rock was getting monotonous and dreary; I mean I was even listening to Pearl Jam as a ‘pick-me-up’. Not that PJ’s depressing; they’re just consistently dwelling in realism and honesty.
So along came the White Stripes w/ their ‘Muddy Waters meets Capt. Kangaroo’ style of punk rock and I fell for them like Wesley for Buttercup.
Why Elephant? I’m not sure… I mean; their first three albums were great, but Elephant just seems perfect. The only reason I’d skip a song on that album is to save it for last; it’s just perfect!

1. Vs. – Pearl Jam
This is a band that is near and dear to me. Picking a favorite PJ album is like picking your favorite child; you couldn’t and shouldn’t! But since this is ‘top 5 impact albums’ I suppose I can ‘categorize’ my children, er, I mean albums.
Some people don’t love PJ and some are bonkers about them, I fall into the latter category. To start this off, I should say that Ten should be on this list b/c it is what truly turned me onto music. At the end of the 80’s and beginning of the 90’s, I was listening to rock music, regretfully that meant lots of hair and lots of make-up. I loved to rock but can’t say that I was totally in love w/ the schtick of the time. So one night I’m at my friend’s house and he’s got Mtv, this is back when they played music videos, so on comes this ‘fresh out the oven’ video and its Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive’. At that moment I officially hated all of the music I owned b/c this was what music should be. They weren’t wearing tights, or make-up; they just got up on stage and rocked b/c it was the right thing to do, not b/c it could make them rich or get them laid. Ah, what a wonderful moment in rock history!

So why Vs. and not Ten? Well to be honest, Vs. is a better album and it validated my love for this musical movement. It told me I wasn’t crazy, this wouldn’t just be a flash in the pan. Another reason is, Ten was musically written by two guys and Vs. was written by a band, (sort of, it was actually about 90% Eddie Vedder) so it was well rounded and seemed more cohesive. Also, Vs. shows the band writing about normal life, something they’ve continued to do, it’s just that after April of 94, they got a little paranoid and abstract for a while. (see also: Vitalogy) While there are a lot of artsy songs on Vs. that serve as a precursor to Vitalogy, it was toned down enough to make the album palpable to the common rocker. Also, the 'art' songs were usually quirky and interesting, like Glorified G and Rats. Those songs are much more normal than songs like Aye Da Vanita and Bugs. To me Vs. is one of the greatest rock albums ever, in terms of longevity, album sales, quality and validity. When you can put Leash, Indifference, Elderly Woman, Blood, and W.M.A. on the same album and there’s still a balance, wow!

Honorable mentions:
Violent Femmes – Violent Femmes
Goo and Murray Street – Sonic Youth
YHF and Summer Teeth – Wilco
(ya, I know that they have albums that are just as good or better, but these are my ‘impact’ albums)
Gold – Ryan Adams
Rubberneck – Toadies
Rubber Factory - The Black Keys (should be in the list!)
Odelay - Beck

Crap, between Odelay, Rubber Factory, and Summer Teeth, I’m rethinking my list! Hmmm...Swap out Siamese Dream w/ Odelay and The Bends w/ Summer Teeth. These two albums found me right after those two and helped bridge my transition between serious rock and an appreciation for quirky interesting music.

In fact, ditch my whole list b/c I could never make a proper top 5 in anything music related, it’s too difficult!

From the phone, Vol. 1

I mentioned a little while back that I was planning on adding photos of random stuff I stumble across while out and about here in Shanghai. Now b/c I don't have a nice small camera, these little 'looking glass' moments will be brought to you by the crappy camera in my phone. So don't complain about image quality! Also, I'm to try to not talk to much about the photo. I'll just try to set up the moment.

Today's installment is from a store front we passed recently. In China there's always some kind of construction going on and many times a whole row of shops will close due the pending demolition of the building housing them. For some reason they always cover the windows w/ newspaper; like is there some epidemic of people crowding around to stare into an empty store? But that's beside the point. So yesterday we're walking along and Bet notices an interesting article among the pages of (all) Chinese newspaper that were plastered to the store window. That's about all the introduction I should have to give...


Dog the Bounty Hunter? Now, I'm not too good at reading Chinese, but I think the '#1' is talking about him winning the recent Mr. (worst hair in the-) Universe contest.

For perspective sake, here's the store front:


Hope you enjoyed volume 1...

Barkley vs. Godzilla

I don't remember things from when I was young. Some might say that there's something wrong w/ my memory when it comes to recalling events from my 'childhood', we're talking 0-16 years old. I don't know why, I just don't remember little things. But there is one thing that I remember VERY well, and that's when Nike came out w/ the Barkley vs. Godzilla ad campaign.

Some of you might have realized by now that I love basketball, you also might have realized that Charles Barkley is my favorite player (refer to my dog over on the right) so it should come as no surprise that this ad campaign was a magical moment for me. But it's not just the association of two things I love, I also think this is one of the most genius commercial ideas ever! Later that year Barkley hosted SNL (Nirvana was the musical guest and it was their last appearance on SNL) and so they did a sketch 'Barkley vs. Barney', man I wish I could find that on Youtube!

Recently, to re-cash-in on an old cash cow, Nike reissued the t-shirts from this commercial and, of all things, I found one here in China. Now I probably won't wear the shirt very much, but come on, I had to buy it; I was like Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory!


This is the original campaign poster graphic on the T-shirt. I took this w/ my cellphone so it's not 'hi-def' by any means.

So w/o further ado, and w/ the help of Youtube, here's those two commercials:

Barkley vs. Godzilla (the trailer)


Barkley vs. Godzilla (the feature, which is shorter than the trailer...)



Here's a promo for that SNL episode I mentioned above. It's kind of a cool little moment even though I'm not one of those Nirvana crazies.



and this is the closest thing I could find to the Barkley vs. Barney clip. Some one used the video from the sketch but covered it w/ the Barney song, man I wish I could find a clip of that complete sketch.

From the www, Vol. 19 (not from Youtube)

I came across this funny little video while reading my friend's blog. It's a short little clip (or you could call it a lesson) showing why some people shouldn't 'sky to the rack' b/c sometimes the 'rack' fights back.




My favorite part is the textbook ai-ya you hear when it falls, after playing ball countless times in central China, you hear this (and English cuss words) a billion times! Another laughable angle to this is when you consider that the goal was most likely already damaged. (note the excessive flimsy shaking) So they were dunking on this goal b/c it was tilting forward lower and thus more 'dunkable', but none of them thought, "this thing is broke, this might not be safe." This guy is lucky to still be alive b/c until he hopped up, I thought the thing landed on his head!

What's crazy is that I had a similar thing happen to me when I was 15, backboard and all, and it will scare the 'fecal matter' out of you! Before you call me a liar I'll note that the goal that broke and fell on me was 8'6". But in my case there was no indication the goal was gonna 'go'. I'll never forget the feeling of falling straight to my back w/ the rim still in my hands and how disorienting it was to see the backboard and rim following me to the ground.

ONE MORE NOTE! ONE MORE NOTE!!

This isn't another 'Youtube' post, I promise!

So you might be vaguely familiar w/ my love of a little band called The White Stripes, well recently they set out on a tour of 'The Great White North' w/ the ambition of playing every province and territory in Canada. A side cursor to this is that they also played a small secret show before every concert in the town of the tour stop. So they finished up this tour in the little territory of Newfoundland and, of course, every Newfy alive expected to also get treated to a 'super secret small venue show'. (that's not an illogical assumption) Now I don't know the whole story, but I do know that 'super secret' location was being leaked through the local rock station, but someone was having fun w/ the whole situation. To make a long story short; after 3 hours and 5 incorrect location 'leaks' The White Stripes' road crew showed up and told the wandering mass of people that "The White Stripes will arrive in 20 minutes and treat you to a 1 note show." A one note show? What is a 1 note show, many wandered, just as I would. Surely it wouldn't only be one actual note. Well 30 minutes or so later, the crew shows up and sets up all the guitar amps, drums, and musical gear you'd expect a highly respected world class band to use. A little while after that, out comes Jack and Meg, just as they said they would. Things are looking pretty good so far for the average little Newfy rocker...

press play:


I love the chants you hear at the end of the video "One more note! One more note!" In the end Jack says it all "We've now played every province and territory in Canada." Oh man, that's hilarious! I'm sure there's some reason for this, like maybe they were running late getting set up that day and literally didn't have time for a whole show, or maybe they just thought it'd be good for a laugh, either way, it got me!

If you were one of the 300 in attendance, can you actually be mad about this? I mean, it was free. Not to mention, The White Stripes played a 2+ hour show a few hours after this '1 note show'. Also, it's not like The White Stripes charge much for their shows and Newfoundland isn't very big, so I'm certain that everyone that wanted to see them that night had their chance that night. The setlist on Youtube reads:

"1. F"

Hey, who can complain about a free F note from the strings of Jacky White? I myself have never had the honor of attending a White Stripes show, but I will definitely see them soon and I look forward to lots more Fs from Sir Three Quid himself! (hopefully I'll also get some Ds, Cs, Gs, Bs, As, Es, among other chords)

From the www, Vol. 18

I'm sorry, I really don't mean for this to be a blog of only Youtube commentary, but it's digressing into one! I've been entertaining myself w/ Youtube a lot lately b/c my wife's been in America for over a month now. I am amazed everyday by what I stumble across but my newest fascination is the hordes upon hordes of viewer reply videos. These are just webcam responses to real videos and they're chopped full of unintentional comedy.(and tragedy, as we saw in Vol. 16) But this one made me laugh even though it's not really funny, it's just so not funny that it's funny. In fact, it's not really worth posting but I've already typed this all out, so here it is:



I just feel embarrassed FOR this person...

From the www, Vol. 17 (Bet's number)

I 'enjoyed' this website...

Don't be afraid to 'fish around' in there, lots of good stuff.

Here's a preview:



I think this photo is located in that website, not sure though.